Your decision to change can hold up what feels like “a big fat mirror” to others about their own drinking patterns. Research from the University of Buffalo found that couples who have mismatched drinking patterns experience more relationship problems than those who drink similarly or abstain together. But what’s less obvious is how alcohol affects relationships even when both partners drink regularly. It can create the illusion of connection while actually preventing deeper intimacy. Individual counseling can be incredibly beneficial for partners and family members who have been affected by their loved one’s drinking. Therapy can help address issues like low self-esteem, codependent behaviors, and the trauma that often results from living with addiction.

You might notice money going missing, bills being neglected, or your alcoholic partner becoming defensive when questioned about spending. The effects of alcohol on relationships can mean more conflicts in general. For instance, a worried husband may voice his concerns when he sees his wife pouring wine after work every day.

• Drinking can lead to even more serious financial consequences if an individual loses their job, or gets into legal trouble due to their drinking.
• A couple’s therapist can help you and your partner rebuild trust after alcohol abuse has damaged the relationship.
• There are many different forms of meditation to try, each unique and appealing.

How Alcohol Can Negatively Affect Relationships

Family members, romantic partners, children, and even close friends find themselves caught in a web of complicated emotions, behaviors, and survival strategies. The truth is, alcoholic behavior in relationships creates a ripple effect that touches every aspect of family life, from intimate relationships to the broader family unit. Understanding these dynamics isn’t just academic—it’s essential for anyone hoping to find their way back to healthier ground.

• Simply close your eyes for a minute and walk yourself through a peaceful scene.
• The sooner you explore what’s really going on, the sooner you can start to feel better.
• But alcohol abuse can also hurt the relationships you hold dearest to you—especially the connection between you and your romantic partner.
• Healthy relationships often involve healthy sex lives, and in the most stable relationships, people are usually on the same page about how often they want to be having sex.
• Whether you’re considering reducing your intake, taking a break, or seeking structured support, there’s a path forward that fits your needs.

Less Connection

This is followed by the drinking episode, which might provide temporary relief but ultimately creates more problems. Identifying alcoholic behaviors in your relationship isn’t always straightforward, especially when dealing with a high-functioning alcoholic who maintains their job and social facade. However, certain patterns consistently emerge when alcohol becomes a problem in intimate relationships.

Increased Risk of Domestic Violence

Gratitude also reminds you of all of the resources you have to cope with stress, which can be quite empowering. Harsh self-criticism, self-doubt, and catastrophic predictions aren’t helpful. If you’re constantly thinking things like, “I don’t have time for this,” and “I can’t stand this,” you’ll stress yourself out. When you’re focused on the here-and-now, you won’t be able to ruminate about something that already happened, and you can’t worry about something in the future. Meditation and mindfulness take practice, but they can make a big difference in your overall stress level as they bring you back to the present.

You might spend extra money on booze, rather than shared activities with your partner or family. To the loved ones of someone with a drinking problem, it might always look like the alcohol comes first. Below, learn about the effects of alcohol on relationships, along with six signs that drinking might be impacting yours.

Trust Issues

It’s never too early to reflect on your relationship with alcohol or seek outside guidance. We often think about how drinking can affect our romantic relationships, but may not consider how it affects our friends and family. More specifically, a parent’s drinking can significantly impact their child. However, if a parent struggles with alcohol use disorder, it can cause instability in the household, and harm parent-children bonds. The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study shows that children of parents with a substance use disorder are more likely to experience physical and mental health problems throughout their life. For family members, the stress of living with someone who has an alcohol addiction can lead to their own mental health issues.

Having an occasional drink or night out isn’t likely to ruin a relationship, but you’re probably in trouble when you’re drinking so often you have to hide it. If you’ve noticed that you’re only doing activities with your partner that involve alcohol, try to find other ways to spend time together without drinking. A 2018 study found that in children with a strong family history of alcohol use disorder, the chance of developing substance use issues was higher. Being in a relationship with someone with alcohol use disorder can be challenging.

Leverage the Superior Recovery Platform

Oar Health offers medication FDA-approved for the treatment of alcohol problems. Drinking can affect a person’s ability to earn a living, or they may make impulsive, economically unsound decisions while drinking that leave them and those they care for in a vulnerable position. Men who drink too much may have trouble getting and maintaining an erection. Over an extended period of time, drinking too much can lead to impotence in men and impaired fertility in women. Join an organization, attend a support group, or get professional help if you lack supportive people in your life.

If your relationship involves heavy drinking and your sex life is suffering, alcohol may be to blame. While it’s true that alcohol can increase sexual desire in the short term, it can harm a person’s sex drive in the long run. This is because it can adversely affect your hormones, emotional well-being, and overall health. A couple’s therapist can help you and your partner rebuild trust after alcohol abuse has damaged the relationship. Couples therapy sessions can also help you develop coping skills and find ways to manage stress without turning to alcohol.

Breaking the Cycle: Treatment and Recovery Options

You deserve connections built on authentic presence, genuine communication, and real trust. The question isn’t whether you have how to tell when alcohol is affecting your relationships a “drinking problem.” It’s whether alcohol is preventing you from being the most connected, present version of yourself in your relationships. Think about how alcohol affects relationships through the lens of cortisol, our stress hormone.

While alcohol can negatively impact your relationship, it’s important to remember that we are not our drinking habits. With time and support, relationships can heal and grow authentically without alcohol. There’s no shame in needing outside support to help you change your drinking habits. In fact, experts advise that the more resources you engage with, the more likely you are to achieve long-term success. At Monument, we offer treatment options like medication to stop drinking and virtual alcohol therapy. You also join moderated alcohol support groups and our anonymous community forum.

It is probably time to reach out for some sort of treatment in this case. When you use alcohol to relax or reward yourself, it creates a strong association in your brain between alcohol and pleasure. Eventually, your brain can adapt to crave alcohol in order to feel good, even despite negative consequences. When someone starts drinking in order to feel happy, their partner may see this change as a reflection on themselves, and internalize that their partner is unhappy in their relationship. If there are underlying issues in the relationship, drinking to feel happy can also prevent these issues from coming to the surface and getting resolved.

Alcohol misuse can affect relationships with partners, family members, co-workers, and others. Some stress relief strategies work fast (deep breathing), while others take time to be effective (eating a healthy diet). A number of helpful techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, are fast-acting tools that you can do anywhere, anytime.